Doorbell rings and in they come. Parents welcome all who show
Out come the drinks for one and all. Laughing. Drinking. Smoking
House begins to reek. I hate this place with all my heart, stinking house
Desperate for them all to leave, put a bitter end to this night unending
Get the stings out of the way, blows rain down like blood after a battle
Music so loud, pounding but I don’t mind. Music drowns out the voices
Voices I hate. Voices I despise. Murmuring incessantly like cicadas
Cops crash the party. Angry neighbor made a noise complaint
Could they not have come earlier? My night can finally be over
Gone, gone at last. Gone except for the two whom I hate most
Why couldn’t they be drunk enough to forget where they live?
I wish they’d go away with all their stinking drunk and stumbling friends
They order me to clean up their mess; I knew they would, as always
Every party is much the same, that’s how I know what’s to come
Shivers run down my spine, someone stepping on my welcoming grave
A tear burns bitterly down my cheek, but the worst is yet to come
Mom has passed out gracefully on the couch, that’s one less for later
Dad stumbles drunkenly towards me, fearfully cringing in anticipation
The first slap. I don’t move. My head spins, my head hurts, blasted
Second slap, my nose bleeds. A flood of crimson red anger rising up
Hatred courses bitterly through my veins, darkening the world around
A punch; right in my gut. Laughing drunkenly as I throw up, jerk
Another punch blackens my eye. Each week gets worse and worse
One last punch. I fall down and he laughs harder. I hate him more
He kicks me now and I cry, unable to contain it any longer, unbearable
Falling down, he passes out. For him the day is over, memory wiped clean
A broken rib, a bloody nose, a blackened eye, a split lip, damage surveyed
What kind of lowlife trash does this to his son? Not worth the air he breathes
Every week is much the same. Next week will be a little worse
A tornado of anger and hate billows destructively inside me, full of ash
The devil’s fire burned into my soul. Devil, laying there, grinning, asleep
I can still barely breathe, gasping through stabs, jerking with the effort
That snake winded me, I want to kill this piece of trash when I catch my breath
I want to rid my world of this venomous snake who should love me
Breathe, breathe, I wish but the ragged breaths are becoming more difficult
Seeing two of him, great, just what I always wanted. Merry frigging Christmas!
I feel so sick; my head is spinning like a top and hurts, no, throbs so bad
I smell my vomit beneath me and alcohol from this drunk’s clothes
Why can’t I breathe?!
Darn it, what’s wrong with me?!
Get up!
He’s really done it this time! Hurts worse than any other time before
Not that he cares, he’s going to love this when he wakes up
Heck he’ll love it so much, he’ll want to do it again, a reason to drink
Not that he needs a reason for that. Any excuse is a good one
Can’t breathe. Coughing. Blood foamed lips. That can’t be good
Why can’t I have an end to these beatings?
I feel so darn dizzy!
Why do I feel so dizzy?!
Oh so…
Dizzy
Almost
Like
I’m
Drowning…